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Saturday, June 9, 2018







Haven’t been posting myself lately. I may be wrong, but I’ve felt like there’s not much to show. Hendrix is the cutest part of me lately. 80% of the time I’m as pictured. No makeup, lounge wear, and possibly hair unwashed. 


I haven’t dealt with this feeling in a looonngggg time so it’s quite unusual but my esteem of self is quite low. I dare not say that I am not beautiful. How can I say that when I have birthed and nurtured a child. When my skin is still smooth and glowy, and my hair thick. What I can say is that I don’t know how to own my beauty right now. I don’t know how to navigate the extra 25 in my curves. I’m unsure of this new skin. She isn’t familiar. 


Now I’ve never been petite. And I follow a wealth of curvy bloggers but can’t grab a hold of the same confident look they have. I follow beautiful mommy bloggers but can’t take a fresh white bright photo with my baby in tow because I’m so flustered from working full time and being a mom. How do I do it all? Well I know, I love to write. I love a good outfit and photo. And I know that in due time I will figure it out. I know that I am beautiful because I tell myself that in the mirror each day along with the other mantras that matter. But until I ace this part of the journey here I am, how I usually look. Fresh faced and undone. But like the phoenix, the billowy clothed queen will rise again.

Walk it, Talk it

Tuesday, April 24, 2018


 
 
 
Let's talk about this outfit shall we? Daddy got her dressed today. He decided to throw on her boy jeans from Macys with the matching jean jacket and her SOUL onesie. The turban was my suggestion (I'm sure he wouldn't have been able to do her ponytails).
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
My first turban purchase was before she was even born! I had it waiting for her. It was from Mommie Me Turbans, in my favorite color mint green. I think her shop is on hiatus, but she can still be found on insta @alexiscireturner or @alexisaciredeisgns.
 
Her second turban in floral I bought was from Little Knots. This is probably my favorite turban of hers. Now while these turbans are SUPER CUTE, they are about $15 to $18 a piece. Oncea poncea time (like my gran would say)... I could do that but ummm I be tryna save a little coin. But they do have some new prints I definitely want to get her for summer tho!!
 
Sooooo her next 4 turban purchases were from Ali Express. I picked up this green one pictured, a black, red, and baby pink for get this.... $1.55 each!
 
I do plan to purchase some more turbans from other small businesses but since I want her to have like every color, I gotta get some low priced ones too.
 
 




 
 
We went for a little stroll and bead shopping in downtown Lawrenceville, which is really cute by the way. Stopped for food and ducked in and out of some boutiques. Everyone stopped to speak to Hendrix. I have a little social butterly
 
 
Shop Hendrix's turbans here.
 
 
Other links where we have purchased here and here.
 
 
Soul Onesie: Target (sold out)
Jean Jacket: Macys
Boy Jeans (distressed by me): Macys



PS. It was so hard to get these pics. As soon as I put her down she'd take off! Lol! Of course looking for twigs and things on the ground to put in her mouth. I already have a toddler!

Things I’ve learned being a new mom

Sunday, January 21, 2018

There is absolutely nothing anyone can do to truly prepare you for motherhood. Of course I received loving advice from my sisters and my family but it’s nothing quite like experiencing and learning for yourself. 

So here are some things I’ve learned in this short 8 months. 






1. You will never be able to quantify the love for your child(ren).  There is no description for the immense amount of love. You would do anything for them. Slay any dragon or climb any mountain. As a matter of fact, I am so in love with Hendrix, I had developed some pretty bad anxiety. But that’s for another post...








2. Take the help. Living in another state apart from family has been my norm during my adulthood. But don't think that you are a failure for needing some assistance. Even if you just need a little me time. It doesn't make you selfish, it makes you human. I'm really not trying to sound cliche, but you can't pour from an empty cup. I've heard that a lot but it's never rang so truly. I just remember feeling too overwhelmed to meditate. Too overwhelmed to do the things I used to do to center me. When I forced myself to take time for these things I started to morph back into someone recognizable.








3. Things will not be perfect. Your birth may not go as planned, you may have issues breastfeeding, you may have a totally different expectation about a lot of things but you have to roll with it. You’ve just carried a life and birthed a new person into the world! You are a fucking rock star. Period.







 4. Get some fuck it about you. This one is from my older sister. Haven’t cleaned the house cause you were trying to get some sleep, fuck it. Haven’t deep conditioned your hair in a month, fuck it! Sometimes you have to let it go, you'll get around to it.







5. Life may become wacky, but in a good way! As you may or may not see in the picture my debit card is sitting in my bra, lol! Why didn’t I realize it? Because that is it’s second home. Running around with a babe can be a challenge so everything in reach is a must. And don’t get me started on how many pairs of flat shoes I’ve bought in the past year. Style change. Still me, still hippie-ish, still glam-ish, still vintage, but oh so comfy.







I can't believe she will be one year old before I know it! Thanks Hendrix for loving me and teaching me. I can't wait to see what else we learn together.

Mason jars

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

I've always had to work hard to keep my weight at what I consider good for me. Numbers aren't important here, but lets just say I'm most comfortable near 175. Sound like a lot? Well much less and I enter bobble head territory. I know what to do and how to do it, but losing my pregnancy weight is more challenging than I thought it would be.





One of the things I know I have to do is, DRINK MORE WATER! I've started doing this immediately. I have an eye for fancy things so I love the cool water jugs and decorative water bottles that I run across in Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Target etc, and I own a few from metallic rose gold to ones with with dainty sayings. But for some reason I use these cool and interesting bottles for a month or two and then they begin to collect dust. But recently I bought a set of 12 mason jars. I bought them to assist me with my meal and smoothie planning. But one day I bought a mason jar to work with me (half filled with mimosa), and I began to fill it up throughout the day with water. 32 ounces of water. Without even realizing I had consumed the equivalent of 12 glasses of water that day. I consumed the same amount or more the entire week and I have been with no problem.









It got me to thinking about how this simple and sturdy mason jar got the job done. Sometimes in life we reach for the fluff. We want to have the decorated way to accomplishment. We want the glitter and cutesy sayings, when all we need is the simple blocks. Because the simple way is sturdy, reliable, and organic.
So I am getting back to basics. Having a solid foundation. It's important to start from your root chakra and get your footing. Glitter optional, but not necessary.



Speaking, Spelling, Energy

Tuesday, December 5, 2017





I have two very distinct moles on my body. The one on my back is just a huge dark circle near my right shoulder. The second one is on my face on my left cheek. Let's just call that one my Dorothy Dandridge mole (although it's more placed like Marilyn Monroe's).
 
My mother told me that when I was born the doctor told her that the big mole on my back meant I was going to be intelligent. She also told me that moles only appear on the most beautiful part of your body, and the mole on my face meant my face was beautiful.
 
I believed these things whole-heartedly. I took them as fact because, well because my mom said it was so. I knew that my beauty mark made my face beautiful and thought I must be smart because the doctor said that's what my mole meant.




 
If you do nothing else as a parent it is soooo important to speak positive words to your kids. They believe them! The world does so much to break us down, why start that process at home?
 
Each morning before I go to work I place my right hand over Hendrix while she is sleeping. I visually place her in a golden bubble and tell her I love her. I tell her she's an amazing, smart baby. When she's awake and we're talking I tell her that her skin is beautiful. I tell her she is funny. I don't care that she is only 6 months old and can't really make out the language, I care that we are starting this early and she can feel the vibes of the good words that her mama bestows upon her. It matters.
 



 


Eclipse

Monday, August 21, 2017

 During todays eclipse I decided to use the heightened moon energy to set some serious cosmic motion. So I took my crystals and filled a mason jar full of purified water and set them out on the patio. Before i left them I held each one and talked to God. I held the jar of water and repeated the same things. 

In addition to asking for Gods favor, I spoke my future out loud. It is important that you accept what you ask for before you get it. Ask, and then talk about it as though you already have it. I've decided to be happy with or without other people's help. 

The following things are about to manifest in my life...








Less Anxiety

Lately I have had a lot of anxiety. Duh! Being a new mom has that affect of course. But its in my nature to be an over feeler (more on that later). So for me it's been somewhat unique. In the first weeks it was not being able to sleep because I was watching her like a hawk. Making sure her chest was moving up and down. Putting my finger near her nose to feel her breath. Then there was the anxiety of breastfeeding. Then the shortage of money from being on leave. Then its thinking about going back to work, and how in the hell am I gonna leave my baby with strangers at a daycare to care for her.  How do I trust them? How can I be without my sweet baby for 10 hours a day and I can barely do a store run without missing her? The thoughts are sometimes so overwhelming I've thought about quitting my job hundreds of times. 

As of today I am resetting. I will have a healthy anxiety because it will help me be alert. All unnecessary and overwhelming anxiety has no place in my mind. I will be okay and my darling baby will be okay. 









More Love


I need all the love that is possible for me to hold right now. I don't have to tell anyone who is married with children how easy it is for your spouse to take a backseat to baby. I'm also sure you know how men and women clash when baby/household duties become a huge issue, especially with a frazzled mom. The love I feel has honestly been more reserved for Hendrix and my irritation for my husband. I realize that today I need to make changes.

As of today I am resetting. I will receive more love and attention from my husband and he from me. I will give more love to those who need it. All of my relationships will prosper. My entire world will be an abundance of love. I will allow it to fill every corner of my life and those who are in my presence will love more because of the energy that they feel from me.






Better Health


When I found out I was pregnant with 'Drix I was a vegetarian. I slowly began to introduce chicken and turkey back into my diet so the baby could have good sources of protein (per my drs suggestion). I can remember a time where my body looked good but more importantly I felt great! Now I know I just had a baby but my healthiness was on the decline just prior to conception so I know it's going to take some dedication to myself to get back to where I need to be. I'm not 100% sure of whether I will return to vegetarianism but I do know that I will be going back to a simpler less processed way of eating. And plenty of smoothies and juices again!!


As of today I am resetting. My body will be healthy. My mind will be healthy. My health must take precedence again.






Comfortability


I don't intend to request lavish things but I did set some intentions on being able to be comfortable in my home, my career aspirations and financially able to do what we need and most of what we want. 

As of today I am resetting. My family and I will be comfortable in our home. We will have all that we need and most of what we want. We will have no stress over bills and be able to pursue careers and/or hobbies that interest us.






Last but not least...



Spirituality


I can't even begin to tell you how good I felt when I began my journey into self awareness and learned how to navigate my mind. I felt so light. I felt so free. It was like an infinite amount of knowledge I was letting pass me by and I wanted to grab it all and stuff it into me. I've allowed the hustle and bustle of life to slow down my higher learning. It is a must for me that I pick up where I left off! I have so many books to read, documentaries to watch, and people to connect with.

As of today I am resetting. I will regain my fervor for spiritual knowledge. I will continue to learn how to access the gifts that my ancestors have for me. I will feel good again about learning to let go in order to feel grounded. 


I'll be obviously be wearing my crystals or have them near me in my home. But with my water I'm eager to try some different things. I think I will sprinkle some in my bath time, use some in smoothies, make a bottle I can use to mist myself, or maybe do some other pampering activities!


So those are the things that I will be getting. Those are the things I need to feel complete. What did you meditate on during the eclipse? Did you get to watch it?


Trusting Your Process

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Please tell me, how do body and esteem issues creep up into our pregnancies?
From maternity photos to pregnancy vlogs, watching other women and thinking... "her bump looks perfect...her stomach is so pretty and smooth...her belly button has popped out...when will I feel my baby kick like so and so did at 18 weeks...why have I gained x lbs while she gained z lbs."


There are so many things to worry about during pregnancy. It is a joyous time but can easily become very stressful. So throughout my creation journey I adapted ways of thinking to overcome unnecessary anxiety and achieve higher esteem. I'll keep it all the way funky and share 3 with you here.





1. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Allow yourself to feel joy! You cannot do that if your worried about someone else's journey. There is more than one way to arrive at the same destination. Although my stomach is more rounded now, it took longer than I thought so I began to research pregnant bellies. Through many forums I found that there are, what they call, B bellies, and apron bellies. I began to try and categorize myself. Why do we feel it necessary to box yourself into a certain demo? I mean, why can't I just be happy that I am carrying life in my womb regardless of the shape of my belly. Why complain to my husband that I look fat instead of pregnant when WE knew and our LOVED ONES knew. My attempt to normalize began to bother me and I'm glad I caught myself early. This is not what pregnancy is. Pregnancy is a beautiful blessing that comes in all shapes and sizes. So, relish in your uniqueness. All of this new 40 pounds is mine and my babies. These few new skin tags are here and in weird places. My heavy breasts started as Ds and are now into the double maybe triple. And it's all me! My beauty, my body!!! All experiences welcome.







2. Uplift yourself

UPLIFT YOURSELF!!! I cannot stress this enough. You're already flooded with hormones that make you tired and irritable, so why be miserable by feeling less of your experience. Amongst all of the planning, and preparing its okay to remind yourself to relax. Be present in the moment. Pregnancy, like anything else, goes by so quickly. So sit still and feel those kicks. Commit to memory what they feel like. Take time to bond with your unborn baby but don't forget to do the things that you enjoyed doing before. Positive affirmations that you write or say daily will help you along your journey. It'll give baby a dose of good energy too. Remind yourself that you are a BADASS woman doing a thing only women can do. Your body is bending, stretching, and opening up to bring a new life and that is amazing, regardless of your doubts or hang ups. You are important! You are strong! You are necessary!







3. Trust your Body


From day one of finding out I was pregnant I was on google. Now while there are plenty of informative articles and help forums, it can sometimes becoming overwhelming. The anxiety of miscarriages and uncertainty of pregnancy can become too much if you let it. Your body knows what to do! When you trust in the process of pregnancy you can have more peace during the ride! I'm not saying don't pay attention to warning signs. I'm saying to not let it envelope you. Inform yourself, but don't let the information bombard you.

Birthing is not a disease to be treated. God has designed this system perfectly with no help from you (other than the obvious :) ). Once you realize birthing is nothing to fear it becomes a normal process to you. Women since the beginning of time have done this so relax, you're in good company.








Baby and I have a little over 2 more months to go! Wowzers. Are you pregnant now or have you had children? What things did you do to be present in your pregnancy?