Haven’t been posting myself lately. I may be wrong, but I’ve felt like there’s not much to show. Hendrix is the cutest part of me lately. 80% of the time I’m as pictured. No makeup, lounge wear, and possibly hair unwashed. 

I haven’t dealt with this feeling in a looonngggg time so it’s quite unusual but my esteem of self is quite low. I dare not say that I am not beautiful. How can I say that when I have birthed and nurtured a child. When my skin is still smooth and glowy, and my hair thick. What I can say is that I don’t know how to own my beauty right now. I don’t know how to navigate the extra 25 in my curves. I’m unsure of this new skin. She isn’t familiar. 

Now I’ve never been petite. And I follow a wealth of curvy bloggers but can’t grab a hold of the same confident look they have. I follow beautiful mommy bloggers but can’t take a fresh white bright photo with my baby in tow because I’m so flustered from working full time and being a mom. How do I do it all? Well I know, I love to write. I love a good outfit and photo. And I know that in due time I will figure it out. I know that I am beautiful because I tell myself that in the mirror each day along with the other mantras that matter. But until I ace this part of the journey here I am, how I usually look. Fresh faced and undone. But like the phoenix, the billowy clothed queen will rise again.